A reference point is 'something that is used to judge or understand something else' and therein lies the problem.
The problem that we need to fix using an outside source is exactly the cycle of nonsense we all got caught in! In those bold eleven (11) words I have captured the guilt, the prose, and the muck that got us stuck.
Here are the same three (3) steps of the old and stale pattern to try to keep people in a mental and emotional, not physical, prison:
First, create the problem or illusion of a problem so a solution can be sold or a savior may seem bold.
Second, we need to fix implies that the problem is ours and that something or someone is broken.
Third, using an outside source is like a fully loaded gun with the word using (to expend or consume by putting to use —often used with up*) an outside source... Boom.
A gross pattern to continually bust our free spirit and free will that has allowed entry of three trends which distract from life:
Enter the influencer riots (tumultuous disturbance of the public peace by three or more persons assembled together and acting with a common intent* distraction and fake belonging).
Enter the age of co-dependency supporting (implicit hiding) addictions on all levels not being cared about when hiding the problem; instead of seeking solution, becomes the game.
Enter the block to independence as we choose or choose to stop believing we need to wait until ___ happens, arrives or takes us forward. As we wait, we continue listening to others and seeking expert opinions to problems we don't actually have and/or the person we trust has no ... reference point to us.
Ahhhhhhhhh!! Full circle dance of reference point head and tail.
Full disclosure: I have been waiting months to start writing again; traveling to the perfect location again; woke up thinking I was the problem again; looking out the window to figure out the best outside source to help me write until I just started over.
Starting over fully awkward and liberated at completion of false problem. Another full circle dance!
Short story: In a board room meeting I was one of two experts called in to offer a solution to a problem (5 distinct charity groups want to share resources but don't trust each other).
My solution was to focus on the common goal to find the resource overlaps and blocks to clear or put aside. The other person who showed up late like a bull in a china shop to exert a loud power play move (which I did cower to and think I failed at the time, but now see I held the 🗝️).
Oh, her idea was to throw a big party asking outside sources for money so everyone could get along or appear to get along through photos (snapshots in time)... thereby wasting resources (time, money & energy)... Using money to get money?!?! Nonsense.
Bottom Line:
Her idea sounded fun and looked better,
and my idea felt better.
Starting over (writing, reading, eating, relating, walking, gyming, etc.) is best without outside expectancy or internal guidelines.
Starting over is because you care about you and your happiness in order to care about others and their happiness.
Starting over is not because you failed before.
Starting over does not need a reason, nor a season.
Starting over does contain 0% and 100% certainties with all the magic living in-between (entre)…
0% proven formula
100% churning through noise and distraction0% problem
100% arrival as beginner, no expertise needed0% using outside sources
100% awkward and alone again
* Source, Not Reference Point:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/using
Join solo or others in a free starting over entry point here.
All current work to help others "work":
https://linktr.ee/entrekathy