Waking up in Bangkok to a familiar scene baffled me. Mood felt similar to another numbed out night of choosing not to feel, yet popcorn was the only accomplice.
I looked around thinking I should not feel bad; thinking I should be in a good mood; thinking a new city should be exciting, and thinking I should be happy there is no actual mess to clean.
Then, I got ‘it’ with an instant mood lift. I got ‘it’ when I could see my should block as the witness, not the judge. I received the gift of ‘clarity’ after a reality check and then wrote to clear it out (free & instant therapy!).
It was another internal emotional storm (confusion) with a matching external scene. A scene that I've diligently worked to contain by not involving others or acting out, anymore. Therefore a much less messy scene to clean. Also, a trickier scene to spot.
The scene, no matter the catalyst, city or size, shows a storm.
A storm that does not want to be ignored. A storm to listen to so it can ride out. A storm that will come again. Always arriving with an important message to pause, clear, and help us, like a witness or friend, to get back to center (clarity).
I got ‘it’ when I asked myself what I watched the night before and why that was my choice. Then, I gained ‘clarity’ when I asked:
“What really happened?"
instead of
"What should have happened?"
I found clarity once I decided to delete the word should.
Should is a block.
Should relies on a fake clock.
Should uses a rear view mirror.
As I write this, "Should I edit as I write?" arises - The answer is: "No." But, do I? Yes. Yes, but just a little bit before I can stop...
But, now I feel different with a witness cap on (not the judgey should hat on). I can; I will and I must do better. And, no more ‘but’s or ‘just a little bit’ because 100% is 100%; not an almost. It is or it is not there. I choose to see it or not. I choose to transform it or not.
All I, and you, have to do to initiate change, is to first notice. Notice the undercurrent, catalyst or approaching storm signs.
Notice and then, choose to listen and stay stuck or laugh and move on from that should monster that attacks all of us (if we chose to keep the door open). That shouldy living is what hurts and scares us, thus keeping us away from possibilty living.
Shouldy living stems from 3 main stinking thinking areas:
The trap of fearing a mistake.
The trap of wondering what others will think.
The trap of thinking who, what or where we should be in life.
If we don’t believe anything can change, we won't even try.
What ridiculous thinking traps, right?!
Here’s an approach I am going to try and you can feel free to try on my new outfit to see how this [thinking] feels for you, too:
[Can we all start being our own friend?
A friend who can be a witness and not the judge!
I think right about now, we can all use a friend.
Wait a minute, I found another monster - the word: use.
How about changing the word “use” to: “be”?
Try saying it out loud before trying it on in private or public:
Be a friend.]
Be a friend for a second with the potential to impact for a lifetime. Yes, a smile matters. Manners matter. You matter.