Do you find yourself constantly defending your lifestyle and choices, yet feel like you can’t even figure out how you got … here.
An old way of my being was to outsource decisions because I couldn’t figure out how to make choices (victim = false). Upon further reflection, the root truth is that I was afraid of making a mistake or being wrong (victor = true).
If you wish to start heading in a better direction filled with better choices, therefore a better lifestyle, I choose ‘yes’ to share story below for your benefit. A short and sharp story delivered in hopes that you can gain a higher perspective about the power of choice … now, not later! Let’s all learn how to start embracing our human right to make choices because what got us here, won’t get us there.
Better choices do and will propel a better life - one tiny or big choice at a time.
Becoming a victor [one who can face their truth to flip a “problem” into a solution or gain a higher perspective on a “bad” choice by accepting the mistake as a real, live lesson learned] can help to face a breakdown in order to move into a breakthrough!
The breakdown happened while I was sitting at my fathers desk staring at a blank screen with tears streaming down my face.
My sister walked in and handed me a piece of paper. I asked her what it was, to which she responded that it was my half of the Eulogy. What?! She then stated “Look at the screen, you haven’t written anything, so I wrote it for you.
A true low point was reached when realizing that I chose to stay paralyzed in grief instead of finding my words to express my feelings.
After taking a long hard look in the mirror, I wiped off the tears and sat back down in front of the blank screen because I chose to never feel like a lowly victim again. The choice was made, but nothing magical happened until something caught my right eye. It was the audiobook cover of Steve Jobs. You know the pose where he has his hand on his chin with that intense:
“I challenge you to make a dent in the Universe look.”
Not because of this perceived challenge, but because I chose yes; I could start.
Because I left my pity party; I could think about what message would also help others.
Because I was too exhausted to think; I went in to my heart, and the words flowed out.
The “speech” included a promise: A promise that I would finish whatever I start.
That promise still helps, many years later, to keep myself checked into the power of choice before I say yes or no in starting anything, no matter how big or small.
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Before we come up with a solution, we must examine what the real problem is.
Problem: During a family meal in a restaurant, a younger member asked her mom if she wanted chicken or beef? Kaboom, that is where this “decision outsourcing” started. An unhealthy way of never being wrong is to … let someone else decide for you. Geez, this behavior became a habit (my character & role), so I didn’t ever have to face it until I looked hard in the mirror and made a choice. During self observation and long contemplation of this indecisiveness I realized that my role model showed me endless tricks (lies) of how to deny, deflect or delay to avoid choice making.
Solution: Practice daily yes and no’s while noticing how your body reacts to tune up your rusty choice making muscle. To start trying this practice is a yes or no choice you can make starting now with 1 simple filtering question in the store, online or offline:
1: Will this choice move me closer or further away from a better way of being?